Dating and Body Language

Body language is an important part of all human interaction. It tells you a lot about a person’s intentions towards you. Are they hostile? Are they attracted? Are they annoyed at the turn in conversation? Are they happy to see you? When dating these nonverbal signals become ever more important. By studying their reaction you can tell if you are “losing them” with a particular turn in the conversation, or even show them your own happiness or displeasure with the way things are going. Here is a “by gender” breakdown of body language to look for when out on a date to gauge the intentions and mood of your partner.


Men are said to be the less complex gender when it comes to emotions. You can tell upfront whether a man is interested in you sexually, but how do you know if he is inclined by the so-called “softer” emotions?

• Eye Contact. Men make direct eye contact when they are interested in sex. Their focus remains on a woman and their eyes never waver from their target. That said, when a man is falling in love with a woman he will look down or look away when the feelings inside become “too much”. Should he, however, look down and at his watch something else entirely is going on…

• Posture. If a man leans back in his chair while out on a date he may feel overly confident in either himself or the situation. This may also be a sign of losing him. Relaxing in his seat can also be a sign of “boredom” so beware. If, however, your date is leaning forward this is a sign of eagerness and attentiveness in the conversation or you.

• Smiling. The mouth can tell a lot about how a man feels about you. Aside from the obvious frown, a man with a sideways grin can also spell “trouble”. Is he smirking over something you said because it was foolish, or because it was humorous? Is it a sexy smile he’s wearing or a “warm” one? Men who smile warmly at a woman are men with strong feelings for her that may be love. A smile with lots of teeth is a happy man. A tight smile is a man who is probably going to be “…very busy this week” when you ask what his schedule looks like.

• The Fidget. Fidgeting can be a sign of nervousness or boredom so this usually has to be read in conjunction with other signals. Is he blushing and fidgeting? Is he glancing at his watch and fidgeting? When a man fidgets, glances down, blushes and smiles then you can pretty much start looking for reception halls because that man is in love with you.


While it is a common fact that women are more in tune with their own bodies and therefore more adept at controlling their body language, they can still be “read” if you know what to look for. Many of the gestures you will see in this section involve the hair. Women and their hair have a special relationship, hence the “good hair day” or “bad hair day” rating scale that they use when talking amongst themselves.

• The hair toss. The hair toss is a complicated maneuver that can either be a sign of “come hither” or irritation. If the woman takes the hair and brushes it forward over one shoulder or (with women of shorter hair) rakes her hand through her fringe or across the scalp in a front to back motion, she is trying to appear seductive. If, on the other hand, the female in question should toss her hair over her shoulder in a quick, deft motion…you are in trouble. You’ve done something to irritate her—so de-escalate the situation as quickly as possible.

• The hair twirl. This is when a female begins to take a lock of hair and play with it by wrapping it around a finger or flipping it around in the air. If she does this with one elbow on the table and a palm holding up her chin as she leans across the table…you’re “in”. She likes you. Her playing with the hair is the human female equivalent of a cat eyeing or playing with a mouse. She wants to devour you.

• The blink. The blinking of the lashes, otherwise known as “batting of the eyelashes” is the first line of attack in the female seduction game plan, preceding or in conjunction with the hair twirl. When a female blinks her lashes at you slowly this is a “come hither” expression. If, conversely, she stares without blinking or hair movement, she may just want to erase you from the planet.

• The smile. Women always smile. They smile when they are angry. They smile when they are trying to be brave. They smile when they are happy. They smile when they feel superior. Smiles are not always what they seem so watch them closely. Did you just say something amusing? Did you just compliment her outfit? Were you overly friendly to the waitress? When deciphering a woman’s smile you must also look at her arm position. Are they crossed or relaxed? If she has her arms smiling and crossed, excuse yourself politely from the table and then run as fast as you can. If, however, she is smiling with teeth and her hands are cupped beneath her chin…she’s happy with you and the world and whatever else happens that night, her mood will be good.

• The foot tap. This is bad. When a woman taps her foot then all pretense is gone. She wants you to know she is irritated. This is like the launch countdown. In ten seconds she is about to blow thermonuclear. Détente is over. All you can do once this happens is call for the cheque.

Body language is very important—in fact, just as important as the spoken word. When dating, watch for these gestures in order to plan and execute your next moves and you ought to navigate the shark-infested dating waters with ease.

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